Spiritual journey, Part I

[greybeta]

I've decided to write about my spiritual journey at least once a week. After all, if I'm going to try to resolve my heresies, then I actually need to think about it. And I'm someone who likes to put their thoughts down in writing.

I'm just insane enough to let other people read it, even strangers whom I have never met. I don't have anything to hide in this case.

A good friend of mine, concerned for my soul, wrote a response to me about what it is that allows us to know that we are playing the correct notes on the piano. The sound of the music informs us if we are playing correctly. Dissonance on the piano is quite an easy thing to pick up on even for the least musically inclined people.

So, the only thing outside of our circular arguments is the world. We must use the world itself and our senses to judge what is right and wrong.

Let's take a look at Matthew 7:14-16:
"Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto
life, and few there be that find it. Beware of false prophets, which
come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.
Ye shall know them by their fruits."

Ah, we shall know them by their fruits. Good trees bear good fruit, while bad trees bad fruit.

This leads us to Matthew 7:21-23:
"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'"

I look out into the world and I see that people like Jerry Falwell and Fred Phelps are calling on the good Lord's name to drive out demons. I can't judge them, but somehow I feel that with God as my judge that their fruits are bad.

There are definitely evil people who claim to be Christians.

But what about me? I...don't know.

That's because the good Lord has not granted me the ability to use my power of discernment on myself. It's frustrating because I want to know who I am, and yet all I can see is who others are.

Sure, I sound arrogant when I say I can read people like an open book, but it's true. But I don't think it's something to marvel at. We're all given different abilities, and it's only natural for us to use them.

Whatever the case may be, I must bear "good fruit" if I am to be a true disciple of Christ. Yet, it seems like I am bearing no fruit at all.

I must be a city hidden on a hill.

Comments

[purplkat.livejournal.com]

The idea that people who start out tone-deaf are doomed to be forever tone-deaf no matter what they do is a myth.

When I started taking singing lessons, I was totally tone-deaf. I know this, because I sang horribly, painfully off key and I had no idea of it. I acually quit playing alto sax in a jazz band once because I was incapable of tuning my instrument to everyone else's. Plus, I couldn't ever tell if someone was singing sharp or flat.

But as my singing teacher trained me with scales and exercises, my ear got better. I learned to sing on key (thank god!) and people no longer cringed when I sang. I also gained the ability to hear when something was even a hair sharp or flat. I don't have perfect pitch (I can't sing a perfect high C on command or anything) but I do have extremely good discernment. I can tune my guitar by ear. The slightest amount of dissonance, which I once would have been incapable of hearing, makes me cringe.

So as it turns out, I did have the ability to hear pitch all along. I was just out of touch with it.

[greybeta.livejournal.com]

Interesting, being out of touch with our own abilities. Perhaps you're right. Maybe I just can't admit who I really am. ;)

[purplkat.livejournal.com]

I think it's more than that. In my case, and this is stretching the analogy an awful lot, but I'm tired and getting over a cold, so I feel I'll get my point across better by staying firmly rooted in the physical world, but in my case, it wasn't (I believe) a "special ability" I had to have a good ear for music. My singing teacher had a lot of students just like me who had to learn not to be tone-deaf. It -is- part of who I am, however, to love and be compelled by music, and it was that love of music that made me want to learn to sing enough to struggle through lesson after lesson of mind-numbing scales until I was able to tell when I was sharp or flat.

It wasn't that I was somehow denying a crucial aspect of myself (or any other aspect, for that matter) it's just that I didn't know how to listen properly.

[greybeta.livejournal.com]

I see. So perhaps I need to learn how to properly listen to myself. I smell a post coming on...

[purplkat.livejournal.com]

Yes, something like that. Or how to properly listen to... I don't know. Your conscience? God? The Holy Spirit? (Or is the holy ghost only a Catholic thing?) This is really hard for me to relate to, because my spiritual beliefs, such as they are, don't really include a One True God in the paternal all-father type manner. So while on an achedemic level, I have a pretty strong understanding of Christianity, on the level of personal experience, I've never accepted Jesus Christ as my personal savior, either :P

If Sam has time, I'll try to point him to this thread. He's a lot more faithful than I am, and has some very good thoughts on the subject.

[greybeta.livejournal.com]

I would say most Protestant denominations believe in the divinity of the Trinity.

Of course, I grew up with Buddhism side-by-side with the Brimstone Baptist version of Christianity, so I've had plenty of time to compare the two.