Update

For the first time ever, I had to cook for the family. You know something's wrong when D2, self-proclaimed spoiled brat, cooks. I made my mom's spaghetti. I was really happy when my sister gave it a nine out of ten. But then Dad spoiled the mood when he gave it a rather honest seven out of ten (I certainly know where I get my brutally honest nature from). Of course later he apologized and said it was very good considering the situation. Ah, good ole Dad, a bit too honest for his own good. Like father, like son.

Secondly, thank you all for your support. Several people have informed me no less than sixty people prayed for my family and me at the BSU weekly meeting. I appreciate it and it means a lot. Mom had an inflammatory stomach but she should be okay now.

Thirdly, I've made a promise to myself and God. Maybe I've been watching too much Full Metal Alchemist or something, but it's said that to obtain one must give up in return. So for the safe return of my mother, I will give up all forms of drinking alcohol. Not that I think drinking is particularly wrong, but I know that I want to show a difference in my life after this. It's not like I drank much before, but now my resolve is strong enough to totally refuse it.

And that scheming roommate is a good guy. He's actually going to drive two hours to Ft. Smith to pick me up and take me to Tulsa to take care of all the nasty paperwork stuff. Four hour round trip, really. Best roommate a guy could ask for.

All of my old friends have been willing to talk with me. What's most surprising is the amount of people who are like "Well, I had an experience like yours once." Not to my degree, but they understand on some level. And it's not only my scheming roommate who's bending over backwards for me. Just so many people to name.

Throughout all of this, I feel my confidence returning with a vengeance. I'll be back to my confident pessimist self again soon, but I know that my pessimism will have a slight twist. Not as drastic as turning frowns upside down, but a noticeable change nonetheless. Maybe because the medicine gives me a bit of insomnia.

Thank you Lord, thank you all, for I know am blessed.

Thanks meme

Hey, I need to keep my mind occupied. One way I do this is by playing the piano. The other way...

( Intellecutally smart= )

I am a failure

You know, I am a failure.

I am, you know.

Well, Dad told me something that I intuitively knew, but him saying it made it so much more clear to me. Dad thinks one of the reasons Mom had some trouble was because her dreams are unfulfilled. She dreamed of a son who'd be a doctor, making her proud. She could then brag about her son to her friends and say she done raised me good.

The fact that I am choosing to become a teacher means I'm a failure, at least in the eyes of the those who value money and social rank in life. But I don't care, even if my mom does. Hey, she was raised in a different culture, one where money and social rank meant everything. I'm free to choose my own destiny now though.

I've learned that you have to disappoint some people to make yourself happy. Otherwise, there'd be no losers in sports.

Below are some catchup links for my new readers:
Who is teaching your children? (This one explains why I wanted to become a teacher)
The confident pessimist story. (My best piece of writing, this explains me when I am at my most confident state)
My insight into a friend (The hint of my ability to see the strengths in others)
K ego boosts me (An Internet friend's insight into me)
Another Daniel ego boosts me (Another Internet friend's insight into me)
Keen insight into me (This person learned from a very good sensei)
Yet more friendly insight (People can see things you can't)