People are God in his/her most challenging manifestation

[greybeta]

So, I was reading one of my friend’s blogs, poliphilo the other day, and he talked about returning to church. He didn’t exactly go back for God; rather he went back for the people. He wrote a nice line that resonated with me: “People are God in his/her most challenging manifestation.” This line brought me back to my childhood.

When I was younger, I went to church and learned that there were two types of people. There were Good Guys and there were Bad Guys. The Good Guys believed that Jesus Christ was the only way to heaven and lived their life accordingly. The Bad Guys were everyone else and were doomed to brimstone and fire. It was the Good Guys’ jobs to save the Bad Guys.

At home though, I learned a different version of the battle between good and evil. People were capable of both good and evil, being the Good Guy in some cases and the Bad Guy in others. In fact, what made someone a Good Guy to one person could make them a Bad Guy to another. Both Good Guys and Bad Guys prayed to Jesus, to Buddha, and to Mohammad.

As I grew up, this gross oversimplification became more and more complicated. Was a baby who died in the womb a Good Guy or Bad Guy? What happens to someone who lives their life on an isolated Pacific island and worships the sun? Where does a thief end up if he steals to feed his family? This and other ethical questions muddied the picture.

At one point in my life, I thought I was one of the Good Guys. We’re made in God’s image after all. So I participated in ministry events with enthusiasm. Then one day I began to realize something. I knew the outside, the façade, of someone who believed, but I really didn’t truly believe. It’s like knowing the right answers to say but not believing in them.

At this point, I began to retreat away from my life. I was already fairly anti-social to begin with, but now I even avoided minimal human contact. It wasn’t a very good idea, but I did in anyways. Twice. And, maybe it was some divine power or something, but I heard a click in my head. It was the click of figuring out why the good Lord had given me my abilities.

In the Bible, there’s a verse that says that Jesus Christ will spit the lukewarm out first. He’d rather us be hot or cold towards him, but the middling ground is truly despicable. I can speak the language of a believer but my heart simply does not believe, I said to Him in a prayer. His response was that He just wanted me to be honest.

I have this strange belief in prayer. You can pray, but if you hear something from the other side, you must follow those instructions to the letter. I don’t pray too much for that reason, but I did pray that day and I remember asking a question. “Why would you give genius abilities to a lazy, anti-social person like me?” And so He replied, “What do you think?”

Answering a question with a question? Hmmm, in that case I’m probably not that lazy or anti-social of a person in the end. I am sinning right now because I am wasting the abilities I have been given. I need to trust those closer to me more. Moreover, there are many people I have not yet met that may need the use of my abilities.

So, even though I could work through triple integrals and differential equations, I will answer the call to be a high school history teacher. I do not understand the need to be in Arkansas, but if that’s where I must be that is where I will go. And instead of looking back on my past as wasted potential, I will look to the future as potential being realized.

Oh yes, I’ll even Facebook people I haven’t met in real life if I know I’ll meet them in the future. Instead of being afraid of people, I need to take a chance on them. How can a teacher be successful if he is afraid of his own students? It’s just like war, where the psychological morale of a soldier is just as important as the equipment he carries.

A close of friend of mine couldn’t believe the one-eighty I’ve done in the past month or so. My response was that I’m still the same person inside. My actions may be more responsible and less reckless now, but the core of who I am has remained the same. I might dress it up in an air of cynicism and pessimism, but I strive to use that cynicism and pessimism for positive ends.

Lisa Simpson once said it best: I want a challenge, but a challenge I can do.

Comments

[khiron1416.livejournal.com]

Vintage, original Doom Patrol!

Sorry I only have time to chase music and magic cards. Comic books will have to wait..

[khiron1416.livejournal.com]

by which I mean I sympathize, but cannot help.

[greybeta.livejournal.com]

Did you accidentally mean to comment on a different post? It happens, thanks for the clarification! ^_^

[hummingwolf.livejournal.com]

And so He replied, “What do you think?”

Answering a question with a question is just like Him, isn't it? :-)

[greybeta.livejournal.com]

Aren't questions often the best answers? ^_^

[moocowrich.livejournal.com]

No. :-P

Sorry, had to.

[lishablog.livejournal.com]

Ah, you may be a genius, but genius is so boring. I mean, it can get full of itself, knowing that it doesn't have to work for anything and can just "be". Genius is only fun when it's busy exploring.

One of the reasons I friended you is because you are a teacher. Teachers -- at lest the good ones -- spend their time exploring.

[greybeta.livejournal.com]

Indeed, it's time to stop living in a cave and venturing forth out into the world, scary as it may be.

[kisekileia.livejournal.com]

I like most of this, but I always get a little nervous when people think they've heard the voice of God. So many people think that, but some of them turn out to be dangerous, some psychotic, some benign but mistaken, and...possibly some correct? I'm just really cynical about stuff like that because I thought God had called me to something, and then I found out I was wrong, and it's still messing with my head close to ten years later.

I also get a little concerned when people think they're being lazy but somehow mysteriously have trouble stopping being lazy, because in my case that so-called laziness wasn't my fault at all and was in fact due to undiagnosed disabilities.

[greybeta.livejournal.com]

You're right to be suspicious of people who think they've heard the voice of God. That sort of reasoning is often used to justify acts of violence.

Oh, I've mentioned this in a friends-locked post before but I've been diagnosed with depression.