Another April 30th passes

[greybeta]

What I wrote last year on April 30th.

I know how lucky I am to be in America. My senior project, which was a retelling of my parents' story coming from Vietnam to America, really helped me see why my parents pushed me so hard when I was growing up. And, you know, I realize that sometimes I don't appreciate my parents enough. They don't take things for granted like I do. They had to forge their own second and third and fourth chances.

But a part of them dies everytime I speak English with them. If only they didn't have to work so much to make ends meet when I was younger, they "could have raised me better." I know the more I study about "my" culture, it's not really mine at all. I left it behind on that April 30th thirty-one years ago.

Comments

[kteck.livejournal.com]

I left it behind on that April 30th thirty-one years ago.

Wait, i don't understand... you're not that old!

But I understand how you feel, to a lesser extent. My mom is totally Japanese, but she doesn't actually identify herself with "her people," because she identifies herself with God and His kingdom, and so she is at home wherever she goes and doesn't feel a need to cling to her past.

Still, there is something to be said for appreciating other cultures. I wish I were a better Japanese speaker because I feel that I am alienated from my mother country simply because I am not fluent in the language.

[greybeta.livejournal.com]

Wait, i don't understand... you're not that old!
Sure I am (figuratively speaking). ^_^

And language is a big part of one's culture. I feel a pang of shame when I can't fully communicate with my grandparents. There's so many questions I want to ask them.

Oh, and awesome job playing the piano last night!