TU Cent Thoughts, 11-7-05

[greybeta]

I'm back home, ever so closer to re-enrolling. A few more hurdles to clear and I'll be back better than ever. I believe I will be going for a tetralogy to explain the awesomeness of my re enrollment visit.

But home has a mixed feeling for me, because I've betrayed my Mom's trust, in her words. So now I hear these questions, repeated no less than five times daily when I am home:

"Daniel, what if you get sick again?"
"Could you stay home instead of going back to Tulsa next semester?"
"Do they really want a crazy person like you to teach?"
"What stupid girl would want to fall in love with a poor teacher?"
"Who's going to hire you when you get out of school?"
"Are you sure you are going to be able to handle your workload next semester?"
"Does your roommate think you're weird?"
"Why don't you go into computers or MIS?"
"Don't you know a lot of other parents brag about their sons and daughters being doctors, pharmacists, and engineers?"
"Can God really help our family?"
"How can I ever trust you again?"

The first time around I smile and answer the questions as honestly as I can. The second time around I sigh and answer as straightforwardly as I can. The third time around I start getting sarcastic. The fourth time around I accept blame for all of my mistakes. The fifth time around I just do not say anything.

Normally, I do not take crap from nobody. In fact, if anything, I always take in what I dish out in stride. But I cannot disparage too greatly the lady who brought me into this world.

I respect her too much to do that.
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Hell has frozen over. Anime Mike got a job as an overnight stocker at Wal Mart. The thief is getting a job. Wow, I'm going to have to revise all those "I'll be darned if Mike ever gets a job..." one liners.
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The first snow rarely ever sticks, but it did tonight. Thank you, snow, for waiting until I got home to really pour it on.
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I miss two days and half of my friends list is spammed with Santa or Cthulu.
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What do you prefer to drink while looking out at snow filled scenery?

Comments

[greybeta.livejournal.com]

She is an Asian mom.
Americans have no clue what this means. Not even close.

Those questions come printed in some mystic handbook that no one is allowed to talk about. I'm sure I'll get my own copy some day.
I found part of my mom's one day. I believe it said something like this:
Look out at the world. Who's happy? Rich people are happy. Poor people are sad. No, in fact, poor people are miserable. So who are rich people? Rich people are doctors, pharmacists, and engineers. Poor people are everyone else, including lawyers because lawyers are thieves. You also have to compare everything you own to rich people. If you don't have that, you can't be happy. If you aren't rich, raise a rich son. Make sure your daughter marries somebody rich. No, in fact, arrange a marriage when they are but children to ensure they will be rich. Push and prod at every corner to make sure they are doing what you think they should be doing. Indoctrinate your children with many stories about filial piety so they feel guilty anytime they deviate from the path you want them to take. Ask them their motives for everything. Tell them what friends cannot help them achieve their goals. Praise the friends who become doctors, pharmacists or lawyers. Disparage all of their other friends. Cut out newspaper clippings of all the Rhodes and Marshall and Truman Scholars from the school your son is attending and ask, "Why can't you be more like them?" Shed tears for the ultimate guilt trip in forcing them to obey you will.

And yet, for all of the power of my spiritual gift of discernment, I know she is too engrained in tradition to ever fully respect what I have chosen to do. So I accept being a failure in her eyes so I can be a success in my eyes. I do believe, as a fellow Asian, you understand exactly what I am talking about.

I drink green tea because that's the only kind of tea I have in the house right now. If I had the time and if my friends had the time, I'd be drinking chai lattes, sipping at espressos, or trying out egg nog and hot buttered rum. I've never had the latter two before, and I think it's high time that I did.
Green tea is teh awesome. Unfortunately, I'm the spoiled golden son (the only son at that) so I don't know how to do very many things for myself. The ole wife was supposed to do all the domestic chores. And I don't drink coffee, so the only two things I order at Starbucks is hot chocolate and chai latte. Never tried egg nog and hot buttered rum before, either.

I don't drink alcohol either. There was this one time my mother was seriously sick in the hospital. I told God I would give up drinking (even though I hardly ever drank in the first place) in exchange for her safe return. I believe in the alchemy's principle of equivalent exchange: To obtain something one must be willing to give up something else.

[cieo.livejournal.com]

As an Asian, I do understand, but only in that I saw it in so many other families while I was growing up. Not in my own. My family, while deviating from the traditional Asian path, has created whole new sets of problems for me. Sure, some traditional issues still lurk, but you'd be surprised at what mine came up with. My journal will show you. Well, eventually.

As for not knowing how to do many things for yourself--dude, green tea? Just throw a bag in some hot water.

Coffee is the elixir of the gods.

And why did you not promise to give up something that really means something to you? And how does it make sense to bargain in such a way? If God wants to take your mother, then why would he be swayed by you promising not to drink--a habit which you never seemed to value in the first place? Perhaps you did this for psychological reasons, as bargaining is indeed a classic stage in dealing with death.

I would love to make conversation, but perhaps another day. I have a final in 4 hours, and this is just a temporary little study break.

[greybeta.livejournal.com]

I've heard it said that the one problem's answer is another answer's problem.

I'm too lazy to throw a bag in some hot water. Or, more likely. I just don't know kind of green tea to buy so I never bother.

It actually did mean something to me. I was at a point in my life at which I could legally choose to drink socially with my friends. So it meant giving that up (I didn't drink much before because I grew up in a Southern Baptist church. That story can be found here when you have the time to read it.) And yes it was the classic bargaining stage in dealing with death. Except I'm stupid enough to keep my word.

Some day we do need to chat. We obviously have a lot in common. Good luck on your finals!

[cieo.livejournal.com]

Indeed. I rather dislike having more information than necessary about me floating around openly on the internet. I will IM you when I see you online. Cheers.

[greybeta.livejournal.com]

Actually, I like reading about myself on the Internet.

Looking forward to your IM.

[cieo.livejournal.com]

Oh, and thanks. You see how out of it I am? Crimony.

[greybeta.livejournal.com]

De nada.

Finals do weird things to people.