Spiritual Journey, Part VI

[greybeta]

I have control.

I have control.

Those words mean a lot to me.

Look, I'm a type A personality and I want to control everything I'm a part of. Whether I like to admit ir or not, I'm a natural born leader. I gravitate towards leadership positions in every organization that I am a part of because that's how the good Lord made me. No more, no less.

But you know what? Sometimes I wonder what the good Lord was thinking when He made me. He must have known that it would be difficult for me to give up control in any situation. But to give up to a guy I don't even know? That's crazy talk!

Wait, hang with me a sec. Nobody thinks you are crazy if you talk to God. Nope, you're only crazy if God talks back. It seems like "God" has become synonymous with "receptacle for our worries."

Trash cans never throw the trash back, now do they?

Hmmm, but God works in mysterious ways, doesn't He? I mean, He has to work in ways that defy reason. After all, aren't miracles supposed to go against the laws of science?

That I'm not so about it. But in reading C.S. Lewis's Mere Christianity, his response is this: faith and reason fight emotion and desires. The analogy is that of us being anesthized. Now we know logically that the doctor will wait until we are unconscious to begin, but do we still not experience an irrational fear when that mask is covering us? It's because of faith we sit down in the chair so obediently.

So what's the great temptation? To use faith to reason out all the "bad" things from our lives. The more we try to use introspection on ourselves, the further we drift away from the good Lord. We start trying to do much by ourselves that we forget that God put others here on Earth tu help us.

And that's when we lose faith.

But, I dunno, something deep in the recesses of my mind rejects Lewis's argument. I just can't articulate right now.

Perhaps someone else would like to explain my confusion?

Comments

[nickel.livejournal.com]

It's interesting that CS Lewis equates faith on the side of reason. Most rational arguments debunk faith as reasoning thought.

You have a need to control. You feel like this need to control was invested in you by the Almighty. What if that isn't true? What if, instead of you being crafted to face the trials of your life, the trials of your life are crafted to fit your personality?

This hypothesis implies that your being is an immutable aspect of your character, a pattern you were predisposed to before you were born. Whether you succeed or not in life depends not on whether God gives you garbage, but what you do with the garbage you accumulate.

I believe that we are all individuals. I believe that we are chosen specially for the tasks we will have the opportunity to accomplish in our mortal life. I believe that, ultimately, success is not determined by whether or not we succeed in the tasks we face but whether we overcome our spiritual limitations in the process.

The largest spiritual limitation we face in this life is failing to comprehend the mind of God. Either because it was always too complicated for us to understand or because such understanding would defeat the purpose of this life, we struggle all our days to know His will. We have signposts like the scriptures and our prophets to help us, but acknowledging that they are there to guide us can be an obstacle to our spiritual growth.

To conclude, I agree with your post, but feel that the answers are out there, if we accept that occasionally they will be beyond our ability to control how we receive them and what those answers demand of us.

[greybeta.livejournal.com]

What if, instead of you being crafted to face the trials of your life, the trials of your life are crafted to fit your personality?
You know, I've never thought of it that way. Interesting.

[happydog.livejournal.com]

Lewis, being British and an intellectual, always tried to find a way to use reason to explain his faith. I feel sometimes he was a bit defensive, and in context of his place and time maybe he was. In England, speaking or writing in public about faith - any faith - is considered a bit embarrassing, thus the British phrase "god-botherer." It's not that it's forbidden, but it's considered a bit outside the bounds of good taste, as if one were to get on the bus and yell, "MAN I HAD SOME GOOD SEX LAST NIGHT!"

The British also bear the scars of many years of religious wars between Protestants and Catholics, and between the Puritans and the Church of England.

One such religious war led to the execution of a king and the institution of a dictator, Oliver Cromwell, who called himself the "Lord Protector," and believed he was ordained by God to rule. Cromwell proceeded to commit genocide against the Irish (as a matter of fact, the actions that Cromwell and his Protectorate instituted against the Irish are part of the historical basis for the Troubles in Northern Ireland that continue to this day)and Cromwell's forces also invaded Scotland and carried out massacres there as well.

The point of this story is that after Cromwell's death and the re-institution of the Monarchy, the British had firsthand experience of what horrors religion could bring. Thus the British attitude toward religion; they regard it as something best left private.

Lewis, I feel, was often defensive because he violated that taboo. As a result of his defensiveness, and because he was surrounded by intellectuals, he attempted, and in my opinion failed, to defend his faith through reason and intellect. I believe that experience with the Divine is, by necessity, transcendental, and cannot be described in words. The closest one can come to describing any experience with the Divine is through poetry, as in the first words of the gospel of John. The Gospel of John puts aside any attempt to link Jesus with David or to justify his Messiahship in any way, and instead posits him as a mystical Logos, and that is why more Christians can relate to you the first verses of John than can recall the (contradictory) genealogies of Jesus.

Lewis is not as popular in his native land as he is in America. In England he is regarded as a fantasist and literary critic with a slightly embarrassing religious bent; in America, his literary works are mostly ignored, and his Christian apologia embraced wholeheartedly. Americans, a religious people, want to be able to defend their faith against what they see as the threats of skepticism and disbelief. And to be more honest, some Christian Americans want to use Lewis' apologias as an offensive weapon. Thus the use of Lewis' "Mere Christianity" as an offensive weapon against intellectuals who disbelieve, or who do not believe, fundamentalist Protestant Christianity.

Ironically, Lewis was not a fundamentalist as it is understood now, and I have a feeling he would be horrified by pseudochristians like Tom DeLay, Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson.

[greybeta.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, I didn't consider the culturual context of Lewis's writings. I also agree that Lewis would not be in agreement with people like Delay, Falwell or Robertson.

[kteck.livejournal.com]

This is kind of off the point of your poster, but I don't believe that a natural born leader is one who seeks/desires to control everyone around him. That would be a dictator. I think the Biblical definition of a leader is one who seeks to build up his followers and help them to find their gifts. It is impossible to lead without loving. Furthermore, I would hardly think that people would want to follow someone who only wanted to control them.

Question: are you currently having to give up control to someone? What is the situation anyway, and how may I pray for you?

[greybeta.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, I'm going to have to disagree with you about natural born leaders. Just because you are a dictator doesn't make you any less of a leader. And dictators often build up their subordinates to use their gifts, even if they are for nefarious purposes.

Also, I'm sure you've read 1984. If history is any indicator, people often want to follow someone who wanted to control them.

In regards to your questions, I just feel that it is difficult to give up control to God. I want to be able to say my life is my own to lead, but the Bible tells me differently. I mean, a good Christian would say that one must make Christ the Lord of their life. But for me, I can say "Jesus is the Lord of my life" all I want but it won't matter if I don't believe it in my heart. Does that clear up the situation for you?

[kteck.livejournal.com]

And by "poster" I meant "post" hehehe

[thanoslug.livejournal.com]

He must have known that it would be difficult for me to give up control in any situation.

That is, I believe, what makes it all the more precious to Him.

But to give up to a guy I don't even know?

He is more than happy to let you get to know Him.