I'm not a nice guy

[greybeta]

When someone meets me for the first time, they usually get the wrong impression of me. I don't know why, but a lot of people tend to think that I'm a "nice guy" the first time they meet me in person.

The whole "nice guy" comment is usually the segue into one of my vitriolic rants on the world. And usually the conversation ends with them being completely confused.

That's because while I say and do mean things, I do kind acts from time to time. Actions may speak louder than words, but man do people ever talk too much these days.

My main vehicle for my channeling my pessimism is sarcasm. Did you know that sarcasm comes from a Greek word that literally means "to tear flesh"?

That's right, when I use sarcasm, I am "tearing flesh". That is to say I am ripping at the facade of a situation to reveal its inner truth.

The scary thing is when I wield that weapon of sarcasm against people. And I've found that quite a few people struggle with the fact that they are not good people.

Bad people never think of themselves of bad people. Even worse, their friends often allow them to wallow in their own putrescence because of the bad person's stubbornness.

Well, I've learned to use restraint in social situations. Yet the instant someone says something ludicrous, you bet I'm going get right there in their grill.

This is about the time I get the "I thought you were cool" crap. This is also the time where I give them the "People think I'm cool because I'm brutally straightforward and honest" spiel.

Heaven forbid they use the "If you want to remain my friend, please stop saying what you're saying" line. That's because they'll instantly receive one of the coldest responses ever:

Losing a friendship like yours wouldn't be that big of a loss anyways.

Comments

[greybeta.livejournal.com]

Jesus also said to love others as you love yourself. Since I don't love myself too much, I don't love others too much. That's still in line with what Jesus says, right?

[renough.livejournal.com]

Weren't we also called to love our enemies? There wasn't a caveat on that one, if I recall. We're also called to be there for the alien, the widow and the orphan. No caveats. I believe that loving your neighbor 'as yourself' is assuming that you do love yourself. You may not like yourself, but that isn't the command. You aren't supposed to like your neighbor as yourself. The love is supposed to be unconditional. Besides, I believe that people love themselves in the sense that they will usually feed themselves if hungry, go to sleep when they are tired, or in general take care of themselves (not always, but you don't see people keeling over the first time they've had a bout with depression. I've been through depression before on multiple occasions, and here I am replying to this).

So, back to the beginning (I tend to do that), about loving your enemies. The last line in your original post is, as best I can tell, intended to hurt. You didn't like something you heard, so you say something that is nearly a sure-fire way to damage the other person's self-image and self-worth (is my friendship with people really not worth much?) at least to some degree.

Using your own phrase, if you don't love others too much, does that mean you get to create an evidently tried and true retort hurt them?

[greybeta.livejournal.com]

Love isn't always nice, I'm afraid.

[renough.livejournal.com]

Let's go over what love is:
-Patient
-Kind
-Doesn't envy
-Doesn't boast
-Isn't proud
-Isn't rude
-Not self-seeking
-Not easily angered
-Keeps no record of wrongs
-Does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth
-Always protects
-Always trusts
-Always hopes
-Always perseveres

If you look at your most current poll, "Kind" is one of the two leaders of the pack that is synonymous with "Nice." So, I disagree.

[greybeta.livejournal.com]

You're free to disagree. But I don't equate love and being nice.

[renough.livejournal.com]

But can you deny that being nice is a byproduct of love? If it isn't, then where does it come from?

[greybeta.livejournal.com]

I have a very long answer to this, but it's Friday and I don't really want to think about it. I'll post my answer to your question as soon as I can (I would say on Monday, but I have a test on Monday, so it's not guaranteed).

[renough.livejournal.com]

I'm not talking about social nicety... or the 'niceness' one exudes to get people to like them or to be attracted to them (or that they exude because people won't be attracted to them), but the genuine quality that you act positively upon for good. If that doesn't come from love, then where? Does that clarify the question, or at least shorten the very long answer?

[greybeta.livejournal.com]

It clarifies the question, which actually lengthens the answer! ^_^