The day when I realized I had become less naive

[greybeta]

The first day of kindergarten, I had a friend named Billy Nguyen. He was like me, a son of a Vietnamese war refugee. There's a picture of us in one of my photo albums back home. Our long shadows indicate the picture was taken early in the morning. We smile the smile of kids unsure of what to think on the first day of school.

My parents knew his parents, and in retrospect they had the bond of their motherland with them. I remember playing Super Mario Brothers (the original) with Billy quite a bit. Nintendo was so leet back then. We so much in common and we would have made great friends.

I say "would have" because one day he didn't come to class anymore. When I asked my parents about it, they said that his mom had left for a better place. I would come to find out later that she had died driving on a particularly bad storm that fateful morning. Billy and his dad would be going out to California now.

Then I have this memory, which I'm not even sure if it's a figment of my imagination or reality. We visited the funeral of Billy's mom. For some reason, Billy's dad was surprised to see us. Moreover, my parents whispered something about Billy's dad already taking up another woman. I was just a kid, I just wanted to talk to Billy. He wasn't very talkative for some reason.

I've kept a paper journal off and on since the ninth grade. And I distinctly remember it hit me one day as I was writing about Billy. His dad had taken up another woman so soon after his wife's death. What had Billy thought of that? I don't know, and I know it's none of my business. But I can't help but wonder what's happened to that guy.

That was also the day I became a little less naive.

Comments

[kimmaline.livejournal.com]

Wow...Nintendo was INVENTED when you were in kindergarten???

[greybeta.livejournal.com]

Considering I was born in 1984, I do believe Nintendo predates me. Should I start calling you grandma now? =P

[adigitalpimp.livejournal.com]

Empathy...or the quest for it...is the end of one kind of naivete. The mere attempt to understand something through someone else's eyes opens up possibilities to the mind, and is a sign of maturity.

[greybeta.livejournal.com]

Well spoken, my friend.

[kimmaline.livejournal.com]

Now that I am over the initial shock of how old I am, and I have a few minutes more to type....

I know what you mean...and oddly I was just thinking about this the other day. When I was probably 7, and my brother Shea was 8, we went back to MA for a family reunion. As they were delegating where everyone was going to sleep, they informed my then 20-something-yo aunt that she was going to go and stay with some random, distant friends of the family. Shea piped and said that he was afraid of storms, and needed my aunt to stay with him.

Of course, later it came out that Shea was fine, but could tell that my aunt didn't want to stay there. I remember thinking that he was only a year older than I, and I couldn't tell she was uncomfortable...how was I going to grow that much (emotionally) in a year???

I think we have these flashes where we grow up...and it amazes me even now, at 27, the things I didn't realize a few short years ago. I don't think that we are ever at a place where we have totally lost our naivete, thank God.

[greybeta.livejournal.com]

Yeah, those flashes tend to reveal alot about ourselves. Sometimes, a bit more than we would like.

[wldntulk2knwwho.livejournal.com]

Wow, that would have to be a real shock for a kid to endure that kind of a loss at such a young age. I guess it's a sign that you're really becoming less naive when you realize something like that.

[greybeta.livejournal.com]

Tis true, my friend, tis true.