The past looks toward the future
Aug. 23rd, 2004 10:53 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
greybetaWith this post, my xanga and livejournal are officially time synched.
Today is the first day of my classes. Fortunately, my first class isn't until 11:00 so I have plenty of time to sleep. If Brahm's Lullaby can't put me to sleep, nothing can.
Well, I'm going to do something different today. I'm going to use the past to look at the future (not to speak in cliches, but I'm going to be a broken record and say that there's a reason I'm a history major). In doing so, I could look like a complete genius or a complete fool.
One time, in my psychology AP class, the king of the sandlot Mr. Mahaffey asked us to tell the class something about different about ourselves. I stood up and said that I was going to be valedictorian of my high school class. Well, at least when you've been told that since you were five years old you begin to believe it. You see, Asians happen to be very superstitious people. Did you know you can predict your children's future by measuring your front doorway? My parents measured mine with a certain feng shui ruler and found that they would have a valedictorian in their house. Coincidence, or self-fulfilling prophecy, you decide.
Do you know what being valedictorian means? Duh, Daniel, you graduated first in your class. It must mean that you worked many long hours studying night after night to obtain that position. It must mean that you have abilities that are rare to find in this world and hard working attitude. It must mean you did something the best out of the five hundred people in your graduating class.
Wrong. It means about nothing. Sure, it's nice to have the honor and accolades (and the thousand dollar check in my case). But my slate is wiped clean right after that and that four plus GPA goes bye bye. Suddenly, I wondered why I worked so much to be number one. Then it hit me, I did it for the praise of others (Phil, now you know why I said I knew I would enjoy His and Her Circumstances). Because, in reality, I'm a very lazy person. I'd rather sleep my days away than fight for a cause.
In two more years, all the work I did for my undergraduate degree will fade away to obscurity. Yep, in ten years my employer will care approximately one iota about my GPA in college. He or she will care not about the fact that I graduated as a valedictorian from my high school. Only in the major pro sports world do people pay for potential. In the real world, people pay for results. People pay for what you will do, not what you can do.
So when I walk across that stage in the Reynolds Center, I'm going to have no regrets about my choices in college. Sure, I may complain about them but I will not have any remorse. By then, I will have taken the path of my own choosing. Right now, it's just starting to become clear what I must do. I always wondered why Gideon hesitated before doing his work in the Book of Judges. It was because he was afraid, afraid of the walk God set out for him. So I am duly reminded that when I cross that stage, I will be accompanied by many friends and observed by my family and many well wishers. Until then, I must patiently piece together the jigsaw puzzle that was, is, and will be my life.
However, I can't shake the sinking feeling that the Daniel two years from now will have a great laugh at my expense.
Today is the first day of my classes. Fortunately, my first class isn't until 11:00 so I have plenty of time to sleep. If Brahm's Lullaby can't put me to sleep, nothing can.
Well, I'm going to do something different today. I'm going to use the past to look at the future (not to speak in cliches, but I'm going to be a broken record and say that there's a reason I'm a history major). In doing so, I could look like a complete genius or a complete fool.
One time, in my psychology AP class, the king of the sandlot Mr. Mahaffey asked us to tell the class something about different about ourselves. I stood up and said that I was going to be valedictorian of my high school class. Well, at least when you've been told that since you were five years old you begin to believe it. You see, Asians happen to be very superstitious people. Did you know you can predict your children's future by measuring your front doorway? My parents measured mine with a certain feng shui ruler and found that they would have a valedictorian in their house. Coincidence, or self-fulfilling prophecy, you decide.
Do you know what being valedictorian means? Duh, Daniel, you graduated first in your class. It must mean that you worked many long hours studying night after night to obtain that position. It must mean that you have abilities that are rare to find in this world and hard working attitude. It must mean you did something the best out of the five hundred people in your graduating class.
Wrong. It means about nothing. Sure, it's nice to have the honor and accolades (and the thousand dollar check in my case). But my slate is wiped clean right after that and that four plus GPA goes bye bye. Suddenly, I wondered why I worked so much to be number one. Then it hit me, I did it for the praise of others (Phil, now you know why I said I knew I would enjoy His and Her Circumstances). Because, in reality, I'm a very lazy person. I'd rather sleep my days away than fight for a cause.
In two more years, all the work I did for my undergraduate degree will fade away to obscurity. Yep, in ten years my employer will care approximately one iota about my GPA in college. He or she will care not about the fact that I graduated as a valedictorian from my high school. Only in the major pro sports world do people pay for potential. In the real world, people pay for results. People pay for what you will do, not what you can do.
So when I walk across that stage in the Reynolds Center, I'm going to have no regrets about my choices in college. Sure, I may complain about them but I will not have any remorse. By then, I will have taken the path of my own choosing. Right now, it's just starting to become clear what I must do. I always wondered why Gideon hesitated before doing his work in the Book of Judges. It was because he was afraid, afraid of the walk God set out for him. So I am duly reminded that when I cross that stage, I will be accompanied by many friends and observed by my family and many well wishers. Until then, I must patiently piece together the jigsaw puzzle that was, is, and will be my life.
However, I can't shake the sinking feeling that the Daniel two years from now will have a great laugh at my expense.
