TU Cent Thoughts, 11-7-05

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I'm back home, ever so closer to re-enrolling. A few more hurdles to clear and I'll be back better than ever. I believe I will be going for a tetralogy to explain the awesomeness of my re enrollment visit.

But home has a mixed feeling for me, because I've betrayed my Mom's trust, in her words. So now I hear these questions, repeated no less than five times daily when I am home:

"Daniel, what if you get sick again?"
"Could you stay home instead of going back to Tulsa next semester?"
"Do they really want a crazy person like you to teach?"
"What stupid girl would want to fall in love with a poor teacher?"
"Who's going to hire you when you get out of school?"
"Are you sure you are going to be able to handle your workload next semester?"
"Does your roommate think you're weird?"
"Why don't you go into computers or MIS?"
"Don't you know a lot of other parents brag about their sons and daughters being doctors, pharmacists, and engineers?"
"Can God really help our family?"
"How can I ever trust you again?"

The first time around I smile and answer the questions as honestly as I can. The second time around I sigh and answer as straightforwardly as I can. The third time around I start getting sarcastic. The fourth time around I accept blame for all of my mistakes. The fifth time around I just do not say anything.

Normally, I do not take crap from nobody. In fact, if anything, I always take in what I dish out in stride. But I cannot disparage too greatly the lady who brought me into this world.

I respect her too much to do that.
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Hell has frozen over. Anime Mike got a job as an overnight stocker at Wal Mart. The thief is getting a job. Wow, I'm going to have to revise all those "I'll be darned if Mike ever gets a job..." one liners.
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The first snow rarely ever sticks, but it did tonight. Thank you, snow, for waiting until I got home to really pour it on.
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I miss two days and half of my friends list is spammed with Santa or Cthulu.
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What do you prefer to drink while looking out at snow filled scenery?

Comments

[purplkat.livejournal.com]

I was raised in a family where the rule of my parents, teachers, and other older person superior types was law, and I really wish I hadn't been. A lot of people -- family members and teachers, mostly -- were able to take advantage of me and treat me abysmally because I took anything they threw at me, and worse, because I assumed that they were older and wiser and knew better than me, the only natural conclusion was that I deserved the abuse. I had a teacher in one grade who would strike students on occasion, and it never even occurred to me to think this was wrong until other students started complaining about it, even though my parents would NEVER have struck me at home. I had another teacher who would watch students beat up on me and ridicule me and do nothing, and it never occurred to me that he should have done anything other than what he did -- nothing. In fact, I loved him when I should have scorned him for his uncaring attitude.

It wasn't until my teens that I started to come to the conclusion that everyone, regardless of their family or age status, should be treating me with a very basic level of respect. I agree that it's a hard thing to fully internalize, and I still wrestle with it. But it's been necessary for the sake of my sanity, because, at least in my experience, people tend to treat you as badly as you let them treat you.

Perhaps in Asian cultures, it's different, and there's something to enforce the respect going both ways. (Ie, the younger generation must respect their elders, but the elders are obliged not to take advantage of this respect to the extreme degree and to try to do right by their children.) I think that if there'd been something like that when I was growing up, I'd probably still be unquestioningly obediant to my elders.